“Want to see someone’s true colors? Travel with them.”

Introduction

The decision to live with someone—whether a close friend or an acquaintance—can be both exciting and nerve-wracking

Most of us who have traveled extensively know that the simplest situations can escalate into complex challenges in the blink of an eye. Traveling with a friend provides a unique opportunity to gauge whether they would make a good roommate. While it’s not a foolproof method, embarking on a journey together can reveal valuable insights into compatibility. Let’s explore this concept through a broader lens—one that transcends personal experiences and applies to anyone.

The Journey Beyond Comfort Zones

Travel inherently pushes people beyond their comfort zones. When someone steps out of their familiar environment, their true nature often emerges. Imagine being on a short weekend trip with a companion. Suddenly, decisions about where to eat, where to stay, and who brings what become significant. These seemingly mundane choices can reveal compatibility or friction.

Observing Behavior

Pay attention to how your travel companion behaves during these moments. Are they patient and adaptable, or do they become easily irritated? Observe their reactions when faced with unexpected delays, crowded spaces, or minor inconveniences. These situations provide glimpses into their character.

The Best Behavior Illusion

At the start of any journey, people tend to be on their best behavior. It’s like the opening act of a play—everyone plays their part flawlessly. However, as the journey unfolds, cracks may appear. If your companion becomes irritable or you find yourself annoyed with them, take note. These moments reveal more than mere annoyance; they hint at compatibility or lack thereof.

The Uncharted Territory of Roommates

My sister and her childhood friend embarked on a daring adventure: sharing an apartment during their college years. Their bond, forged through years of friendship, seemed unbreakable. Yet, they had never traveled together—a crucial oversight. As they settled into their cozy abode, my sister discovered a side of her friend she hadn’t anticipated: pickiness and passive-aggressiveness.

Post-It Notes and Silent Treatments

Within months, their apartment became a battleground. Trivial matters ignited fiery disputes. Her friend’s grievances materialized as Post-It notes strewn across the kitchen counter or affixed to my sister’s bedroom door. The silent treatment became a chilling soundtrack to their evenings. The lease, once a symbol of shared dreams, now shackled them to a tense coexistence.

Breaking Point and Broken Friendships

Tickets piled up—infractions for broken rules, minor transgressions that fueled their animosity. My sister yearned for peace, while her friend simmered with resentment. Eventually, they surrendered. The lease was terminated, but their friendship bore the scars. The once inseparable duo now exchanged strained glances, their laughter replaced by awkward silence. Had they road-tested their compatibility earlier, perhaps they would have averted this heartache.

The Accidental Road Test

In stark contrast, my own experience unfolded serendipitously. A spontaneous trip led me to share a hotel room with a friend. She radiated positivity, even amidst the inevitable road trip challenges. She didn’t impose her will or dominate conversations. Instead, she flowed with the journey. Our compatibility extended beyond the road; we became harmonious roommates for two blissful years.

The Unmasking of Incompatibility

Let me share a couple of contrasting cruise experiences that underscore the power of this method:

1. The Unpleasant Couple

A few years back, we set sail with six other couples. Initially, everyone seemed fun and upbeat, including a couple we had known for a while. However, as the days unfolded, a disconcerting pattern emerged. The boyfriend was pleasant company, but his girlfriend—our former friend—transformed after a few drinks. Petty annoyances escalated into loud confrontations. She berated not only her boyfriend but also the servers and staff. Scenes unfolded during island walks and dinners, leaving everyone embarrassed. By the fourth day, we knew we’d never travel with them again. Despite our fondness for the boyfriend, the girlfriend’s behavior was a deal-breaker. Eventually, he dumped her, and so did we.

2. The High-Stakes Gambler

On the flip side, we’ve repeatedly cruised with a friend who’s a seasoned gambler. His prowess at the blackjack table earns him complimentary trips and a $500 credit each time he sails. Our pre-cruise ritual involves a 5-hour road trip to the port city, where we stay in a hotel suite. Once onboard, we cross paths with him—when he’s not at the blackjack table, that is. His easygoing nature and love for the game make him an ideal travel companion. We’ve shared laughter, stories, and countless adventures without a single disagreement.

Laid-Back Adventures

Your laid-back friend—the one who dances to their own rhythm—has unwittingly become your travel litmus test. Together, you’ve navigated the unpredictable world beyond schedules and obligations. No forced dinners or obligatory shows; just the freedom to explore as you please. That initial road test, years ago, blossomed into a lasting friendship—a guarantee of good travel experiences.

Navigating the Unpredictable

As your travels extend beyond local roads to airports and foreign lands, you’ve honed your criteria for companionship. You avoid those who easily panic, spend their days in a drunken haze, or scream “tourist” from a mile away. And American-style food? It’s not your cup of tea. Instead, you seek like-minded friends who embrace spontaneity, try new things, and savor the journey without the haze of alcohol.

The Roommate and Travel Buddy Filter

Now, imagine applying this method to roommates, housemates, or future travel buddies. Start small—a weekend at an Airbnb or a day trip to the beach. The stakes are lower, but the insights are invaluable. Because the last thing you want is to sign a lease with someone who turns out to be a jerk, a drug dealer, or a symphony of snoring. Or perhaps they’re perpetual complainers, messy tornadoes, or tab-dodgers.

The Not-So-Foolproof Method

True, no method is foolproof. But the road test offers glimpses into compatibility. It’s like trying on a shoe before committing to the marathon. You’ll get an idea of the fit, the comfort, and whether you’re ready for the long haul. If you’re still on the fence after one trip, take another. And another. Eventually, clarity will emerge.

Mutual Road Tests

Remember, it’s a two-way street. As you assess them, they’re assessing you too. Perhaps they’re gauging your tolerance for late-night guitar sessions or your knack for leaving socks strewn across the room. So, embrace the road test—it’s not just about the destination; it’s about the companions who share the journey.

Lessons Learned

1. Travel Unveils True Colors: The road test is more than a mere adventure; it’s a mirror reflecting our compatibility. When comfort zones shrink, personalities expand. Observe how your companion reacts to delays, decisions, and minor irritations. These moments reveal character.
2. Friendship ≠ Roommate Compatibility: Fond memories and shared laughter don’t guarantee smooth cohabitation. A road trip can unveil quirks and idiosyncrasies that escape notice in everyday interactions.
3. Accidental Road Tests: Sometimes life surprises us with serendipitous road tests. Embrace them. A shared journey can reveal whether you’re destined for harmonious coexistence or inevitable clashes.

Lessons for All Journeys

1. Compatibility Matters: Whether you’re cruising the high seas or exploring distant lands, compatibility is key. Observe how your companions handle stress, alcohol, and social interactions. These insights will guide your future travel choices.
2. Deal-Breakers and Bonds: Some behaviors are non-negotiable. If someone’s actions consistently clash with your values or comfort, it’s okay to part ways. Conversely, cherish those who enhance your journey.
3. The Road Reveals All: Just as the Oregon Coast Trail tested my roommate compatibility, every journey unveils character. Whether it’s a cruise ship or a winding road, pay attention. The true colors emerge, guiding your path.

Conclusion

So, before you sign that lease, consider embarking on a journey together. Whether it’s a weekend road trip or an impromptu adventure, watch for the signs. The road will whisper truths that shared laughter cannot. As you navigate life’s twists and turns, remember: it’s not just about the destination; it’s about the journey—and the roommates you discover along the way.

Biblical References

In the biblical narrative, journeys often symbolize transformation and self-discovery. Consider the story of Noah and the dove. After the great flood, the dove carried an olive leaf, signaling hope and renewal (Genesis 8:11). Similarly, our journeys—whether literal or metaphorical—can lead to personal growth and reveal our true selves.